In-processing at WRAIR

Today was my first day at Walter Reed Army Institute of Research, which will hereafter be referred to simply at WRAIR (pronounced "rare"). This is not the hospital Walter Reed (the one in the news a couple of years ago). That is Walter Reed Army Medical Center (WRAMC). Two completely different entities with the same name. Welcome to the Army.

Today was in-processing, which is a fun (sarcasm) process that one must go through whenever reporting to a new location/duty station. Since WRAIR is a research facility with stuff that can kill a person, the place is locked down as tight as Ft. Knox, requiring one to jump through several hoops to be approved to enter the building. Here was my day:

1) 0805: Arrive at Walter Reed Annex. To get through the gate, I had to show my CAC (Common Access Card; my Army ID) and rental agreement to my car. Fortunately, I didn't have to have my car searched.

2)0810: Enter WRAIR (Building 503). In case you couldn't tell, the parking lot is a good distance from the building. To get in, my bag was searched and I had to go through a metal detector. Then, I had to hand over my driver's license, get a "Vistor: Escort Required" badge, and call LTC Cersovsky.

3) 0815ish: LTC Cersovsky comes down, rolls his eyes at my "Escort Required" badge, and sends me to Building 500 to get my in-processing packet, and tells me to get back before the safety briefing at 0845.

4) 0818-0835: Personnel office in Building 500, where they debate what kind of in-processing packet to give me (which was the wrong one, according to LTC Cersovsky). Then, realizing the time, they quickly send me back to 503 for the safety briefing.

5) 0838: Return to 503, once again having my bag scanned (no metal detector required, thanks to the "Escort Required" badge). Call LTC Cersovsky to escort me down the hall for the safety briefing.

6) 0845: Safety briefing, get that signed off on the in-processing packet. Call LTC Cersovsky again to escort me from the safety briefing back to the door.

7) 0900ish: back to 500 to get checked through base security.

8) 0945: after a really long time having my orders pored through, my background check examined, the paperwork filled out for a visitor's pass, and the picture taken, they realize I'm still missing signatures in my in-processing packet and send me back to 503.

9) 0948: Bag gets checked again, LTC Cersovsky called again to escort me up to the Preventive Medicine residency area to get more signatures on the packet (remember, it's the wrong packet, so these signatures aren't really required, but the badge people won't give me a badge until the paperwork I'm given is complete.

10) 1015: Back to Building 500, this time with more signatures. Finally get my badge. As you can see, they misspelled my name.

11) 1020: Back to WRAIR (Building 503) to meet with LTC Cersovsky about my expectations for the rotation. Bag gets scanned again, but no phone call necessary, thanks to the badge.

12) 1050: LTC Cersovsky has to head out to Bethesda for some inspection, and sends me back to 500 to get everything at personnel squared away, then tells me I can take off for the day once that is complete.

13) 1110: Personnel finds one line that isn't signed to their satisfaction, and sends me back to 503 to have that corrected and faxed to them.

14) 1115: Bag gets scanned again on the way in, form gets signed and faxed. I stop by the resident's office to chat with CAP Ahluwalia, who is an OSU alum (2006). Get invited to lunch in about an hour (so much for going home early). Head down to the library to check email and waste an hour without annoying the residents (the rotation is still young; there's plenty of time left to get on their nerves).

15) 1200: Lunch. Well, more accurately, I go back up to the resident's office and socialize for about half an hour, then we head out to Subway, which is located next to one of the most sketchy commissaries I've ever seen, on another part of the annex. We're still on base, but have to exit the WRAIR gates, which are open during the day and locked to card access in the off-hours. In other words, there are two layers of gates around WRAIR; the base gates and the WRAIR gates.

16) 1315: Leave for the day (I won't be leaving this early on a regular basis, in case you're wondering).

So there you have it; all of that walking back and forth between buildings and going through security and calling for an escort, just so I can be around for four weeks doing epidemiology research.